Quandaries of My Life
Yet another
quandary. But I don’t know where to begin to explain it, so outlandish is my
predicament. And yet, it’s perfectly reasonable given my personal paradigm,
which has been considerably expanded since I wrote my twin soul books, Death, the Final Frontier and The Merciful Law of Divine Synchronicity;
and to come to terms with my new predicament, I’ve decided to explore my quandaries
in today’s spiritual musing…
For the longest
time I floundered in one predicament, unable to see where the world was headed,
and I had to write a poem to vent my
frustrations:
What the Hell
Is Going on Out There?
Hierophants of the
world,
what the hell is
going on out there?
Your antennae are
out of whack,
and all you report
is madness,
madness, and more
madness, or
am I too blind to
see?
Hierophants of the
world,
tell me the truth,
has the world
gone mad or is
this some new sanity
beyond my ability
to process
and understand?
Hierophants of the
world,
I’ve lost all
faith in religion, science,
and politics, but
not in the better nature
of my fellow man,
so please tell me:
what the hell is going on out there?
What
with all the social upheavals today, climate change disasters, and unfettered
moral relativism, it really bothered me not knowing where the world was headed;
and I reflected and reflected, but to no avail. And then one day out of the blue
something popped into my head, one incredible revelation that I had read in
Glenda Green’s book Love without End,
Jesus Speaks, something that Jesus said to the artist who had been called
by divine inspiration to paint his portrait, which she did and titled “The Lamb
and The Lion.”
Jesus appeared and
was with her for almost four months (between November 1991 and March 1992), and
while working on his portrait one day he said to her: “Behold, be grateful, and forgive that which you did not understand or
control. For life is divine, it is perfect, and it naturally manifests the will
of its creator.” And the moment these words popped into my head, I shouted
“EUREKA!” because I had just been set free of my predicament.
I did not
understand where the world was headed, nor did I have any control over it, and
I felt impotent; but Christ’s words set me free of my false concern, because
what Jesus said to Glenda let me know that the world wasn’t mine to measure. It
was the creator’s, and Jesus informed Glenda that life was divine and perfect
and not hers to judge, and she had to forgive herself for not understanding, as
did I. And that was my epiphany!
Years later, I
found myself in another predicament. My quandary this time was much more
personal. I had grown to believe that
our life was divinely choreographed, and it took me a long time to resolve my
free will with my destined purpose. As I explained in my twin soul books, we
are all born to become what we are meant to be (which is our destined purpose),
but we have free will; and it took me a long time to reason it out, but as free
as we are to live our own life, we will always be teleologically driven to
become our true self. This is how I came to see that our life is choreographed
by the will of our creator.
“It doesn’t matter
what we do,” I said to Penny one day; “when our number comes up, we’re going to
die. We can eat all the right foods and exercise and do all the right things to
ensure a long and healthy life, but our death is already marked on our
calendar.”
And I believed it.
It wasn’t just a silly superstition with me, as many people believe, but a
gnostic conviction that was forced upon me by life experience, which became the
theme of my new book The Gnostic Way of
Life, and I floundered in my new predicament.
With free will we
create our personal destiny; but we are also born with a teleological
imperative to become what we are meant to be, which is our destined purpose
that speaks to our soul contract that we all come into the world with, a karmic
obligation to learn the lessons that we are meant to learn so we can grow in love
and understanding; and the more we grow in love and understanding, the more
discerning we will be in the choices we make, which in turn awakens us to the
gnostic way of life that is the imperative of our destined purpose to become what
we are meant to be, our true self divine and perfect.
It’s all very
complicated and hard to explain; but essentially, we are free to live our own
life. And if our life strays too far away from our destined purpose to become
what we are meant to be, then life intervenes to pull us back, sometimes
dragging our feet and screaming like in the Hymn of Cleanthes— “Lead me, O Zeus, /And thou, O Destiny, /The
way I am bid by thee to go, /To follow I am willing, /For were I recusant, /I do
but make myself a slave, /And still must follow.” This was the theme of The Merciful Law of Divine Synchronicity; and
as logically sound as this was for me, it also gave birth to a new quandary.
If our life is
choreographed to become what we are meant to be, our true self whole and
complete like the acorn seed becoming an oak tree, which we do by fulfilling
the obligation of every soul contract that we come into the world with, then it
didn’t really matter when and how we died, because this was also written into our
soul contract; and I floundered for several years in a state of physical
lassitude, not taking care of myself the way I should have because it didn’t
really matter to me. And, of course, my old Catholic guilt possessed me.
And then one day I
went on YouTube and came upon an exceptionally gifted medium who channeled
souls from the other side, an Australian woman by the name of Alison Allan, and
I watched in fascination as she channelled historical figures like Alexander
the Great, the Emperor Napoleon, Sir Winston Churchill, Carl Gustav Jung,
Socrates, even Jesus and many more world-changing leaders, as well as famous
singers and movie stars and ordinary people, and I couldn’t get over how they
all confirmed what I already knew about the purpose and meaning of life; but
what pleased me most was how invariably they all revealed how their own death
was written into their soul contract, and why they had chosen to cross over the
way they did, like President John F. Kennedy whose murder at the gunman Lee Harvey
Oswald’s hands was written into their soul contract to help bring the nation
closer together, or Bruce Lee whose soul contract was to die at the peak of his
career to solidify the myth he had created with his personal style of martial
arts and enormous self-discipline, which would be an inspiration for
generations of young people the world over. And after watching a week or so of
these afterlife interviews (I also discovered another highly gifted channeler, an
American called Pamela Aaralyn who is also on the forefront of this new spiritual
awakening), a thought came to me that lifted me out of my physical doldrums,
because it didn’t matter that my death was already written into my soul
contract, and it didn’t matter how much care I took of my body, what mattered
was the quality of my life, and it was my choice to perpetuate my physical
lassitude or take the initiative and bring back the self-discipline I once had
when I used to run seven miles every day after work, and ten miles on weekends
summer and winter.
I could never do
that now, given my heart condition (two heart attacks damaged my heart irreparably,
but open-heart surgery extended my life, and I’m sure this was also written into
my soul contract); but I can ensure a better quality of life with moderate
exercise and watching my diet, and it doesn’t really matter when I die as long
as I feel content with myself getting there, which seems to me morally de rigueur now. But as I said, it’s still
my choice; and now that I’ve spelled all this out in today’s spiritual musing, I
just have to get started. Which brings me to my unresolved quandary, my lifelong
proclivity for procrastination; but that’s a spiritual musing for another day,
if I ever get around to writing it…
——
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